Things that I wanted to say but never had a chance to say…

They say…

Love is patient, love is kind, love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It never rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails…

There are times when people are timid and shy about expressing the love their felt for loved ones, sometimes even to the point of actually denying it. For fear of embarrassing the other person, or themselves, they never actually use the words “I love you.” So  communicating this very idea in other forms has really become a part of them.

Sometimes, simple words like ‘please take care’ or ‘don’t drive too fast’ or ‘be good.’ But really, these are just other ways of me saying ‘I love you,’ ‘you are important to me,’ ‘I really care what happens to you.’

Everybody are born strange in someways. The only thing they wanted to say, and the one thing that they should’ve said, is the one thing they didn’t say.

And yet, because the feeling is so real, and the need to say it is so strong, they really wanted to use other words and signs to say what they really mean. And many times the meaning never gets communicated at all and the other person is left feeling unloved and unwanted… Wasted energy, wasted love…

Sometimes, people might wish they have the ability of feeling the love in the words that people are saying to them. Sometimes, only the explicit words are necessary, but more often, the manner of saying the actual things is even more important. A joyous teasing or scolding carries more affection and love within the sentiments which are expressed insincerely.

If only everyone can get out of their minds for a while… An impulsive hug for the people they loved without actually saying the words I love you,  it would have been a very different thing.

Any expression of a person’s concern for another actually says I love you. Sometimes the expression is clumsy, sometimes even cruel. Sometimes people might hope that others have just paid that bit more attention and listen that bit more intently for the love that contains. But more than often it is there, but somehow lost in translation.

In so many ways people might express their love with birthday gifts, and little notes, with smiles and sometimes with tears. But sometimes people show love by just keeping quiet and not saying a word, at other times by speaking out, even brusquely. Maybe sometimes we should ask ourselves why are we angry of the ones we loved so much? While what we are only trying to say is actually, “Why can’t you feel the love that I’ve given you?”, “I could only wish you know how much I loved you.” or more simply “I love you so much so it hurts so bad…” Most of the time love out can’t be shown out of impulsiveness for the fear of losing the ones we loved.

But the worst is to miss someone that is to be sitting right beside someone knowing you’ll never have them. Perhaps love is better shown by letting go someone who can’t feel the love we have tried to express.

Perhaps it’s time to leave regardless of whatever the circumstances…

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我是傻瓜 我真的是傻瓜
nan ba bo yeo seo jyo nae ga ba bo yeo so jo
後悔也來不及 我知道 已無法回頭
hu hoe hae do neut jeo jyo al jyo dol ri kil sun eop jo
不可能再見到你 我也明白
keu dael bol su ob seo yo na do al go it seo yo
我真的錯了 我真的很抱歉
nae ga jeong mal jal mot tae seo yo jeong mal mi an nae yo
那時說不出口 是我太傻
geu ddaen yae gi ha ji mot tae jyo neo mu eo ri seok geo jo
到了現在 我才焦急地乞求你原諒
i je wa seo i reo ke ae tae wu myeo nan yong seo reul bil reo yo
你…我是傻瓜
dang sin neun na neun ba bo ib ni da
因為自尊心 太過想念你 我的心靈不堪負荷
ja jon sim ddae mun ne sul goa sseun dam bae yeon gi ro ma…
你…我是傻瓜
dang sin neun na neun ba bo ib ni da
因為依然愛著 一整天淚眼婆娑
a jik sa rang ha gi e ha ru jong il peong peong ul go man nit jyo
你和我一樣 都像個傻瓜
geu dae do na do mo du ba bo cheo reom

不要這樣 請再想想
geu reo ji mal ra yo da si saeng gak kae bwa yo
我們是那麼辛苦地走到這裡
u ri eo ddeot ke yeo gi kka ji him deul ge wat neun de
請再想想 會後悔的
da si saeng gak kae ba yo hu hoe ha sil geo e yo
我真的錯了 真的很抱歉
nae ga jeong mal jal mot tae seo yo jeong mal mi an nae yo
那時說不出口 是我太傻
geu ddaen yae gi ha ji mot tae jyo neo mu eo ri seok geot jyo
到了現在 我才焦急地乞求你原諒
i je wa seo i reot ke ae tae u myeo nan yong seo reul bil reo yo
你…我是傻瓜
dang sin neun na neun ba bo ib ni da
因為自尊心 太過想念你 我的心靈不堪負荷
ja jon sim ddae mun ne sul goa sseun dam bae yeon gi ro ma…
你…我是傻瓜
dang sin neun na neun ba bo ib ni da
因為依然愛著 一整天淚流婆娑
a jlk sa rang ha gi e ha ru jong il peong peong ul go man nit jyo
你和我一樣 都像個傻瓜
geu dae do na do mo du ba bo cheo reom
沒有你 我無法多活一秒鐘
geu dae eob si dan nan sun gan do nan sal su eob seo yo
剪了髮 喝了酒 眼淚仍留不停
meo ril jal ra do sul reul ma syeo do nun mul man heu reu jyo
你…我是傻瓜
dang sin neun na neun ba bo ib ni da
因為自尊心 太過想你 我的心靈不堪負荷
ja jon sim ddae mun ne sul goa sseun dam bae yeon gi ro ma…
你…我是傻瓜
dang sin neun na neun ba bo ib ni da
因為依然愛著 一整天淚眼婆娑
a jik sa rang ha gi e ha ru jogn il peong peong ul go man nit jyo
你和我一樣 都像個傻瓜
geu dae do na do mo du ba bo cheo reom

別再讓我墮落下去
i je deo i sang mang ga ji ji ma yo

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Goodbye, goodbye and goodbye… So sorry that I can’t keep all my promises. Haha, not that you will feel it anyways. Time to let fly dogs of war, my chains are unbound, my soul is free… Later, another time, another place.

12 days till the end of the road… for now at least.

Note to self really…

Part of knowing how to get the things I want is to know about the things I should give up upon in order to get it…

So there will be sacrifices, I cannot satisfy everyone so someone is bound to be hurt. It doesn’t matter anymore. I have to pay a price, everything in life exacts a price…  It’s sometimes hard to decide whether the price is worth the prize.

Must stop being apologetic to others as well as to oneself, if I’ve made the decision then there shall be no apology about it. Sorry I’ve put my happiness on everyone else’s shoulder, many times people ask me, ‘what makes u happy?’ In truth, it makes me happy to make you happy. And this is really an unnecessary burden on you… I’ve to change that really, perhaps you think I’ve no personality or somethin? It’s unfair to put one’s happiness on others… It may take some time to change, though it still makes me happy to make you happy but I’ll take priority on myself next time. Oh wait, did I just apologize again? Sorry.

Maybe I am only one, but at least I’m one, I can’t do everything, but if I can do something.

And that which I can do, I will do.

Don’t ask me…

Every day I wake up,
as if it's just another day gone by.
Nothing but the open road,
and the never-ending why.
Anything can happen,
but nothing ever really does...

I try to change, it's kinda strange,
the same as it ever was,
but look inside everyone of us...
Every night in the dark,
I lie awake in bed.
How am I supposed to dream,
With all the static in my head?
I turn in all directions,
and I pray to God for some relief.
What can I do but feel the weight I'm underneath,
And grit my teeth... Thinking...

How do I deal with love?
Sometimes you'll call,
sometimes you're cold.
Find me when you need me,
shun me when you're happy.
Why is it that I'm still sold?
while all I had to say is 'no'

So please tell me, is this the real me?

How do I deal with life?
What is it that I have to strife?
As though I've anything to lose.
Why do I have to choose?
When everybody's got their opinion,
on what the hell I'm supposed to do...

So please tell me,

How do I deal with you and me?
How do I know if it's real?
When I don't even trust myself.
Or what is it that I feel...

Of Melancholy and Sadness

Pain… Ah Pain… Or sadness, of all feelings I think I’m addicted to it and can’t live without it.

I think sometimes people call my kind of people ‘melancholic’, some refer us as pessimists, some avoid us because we always see the dark side of things…

But in truth, we’re actually people who have double the amount of emotion, feel double the amount of pain but appear twice the amount of calmness. This is the feat of the Capricorn stars, admit it my friends, we somehow possess this unfortunate ‘dysfunction’… But the horoscope only reveals the calmness part but never the emotional one. Then again, I don’t know much about other horoscopes as I’m sure that some of them are melancholic too. But what I know is that generally, melancholy is part of me.

Melancholic people tend to be emotional people (if you have not known that already), they are sometimes seen as people who were shrouded by sadness and often overwhelmed by it. However, the fact is… melancholic people are usually empathetic (from the word empathy) which means the connection of feelings between people. It is to feel what you feel. And sadness tends to be the feeling of choice to be shared with people who are close to us. It is easy to share happiness with other people, friends, strangers and enemies alike, but… to share your sadness and pain, the person involved has to feel it, empathize it. And when that person doesn’t feel so… It’s empty, lifeless, void of any meaning.

To have empathy, is actually a double edge sword… It means that when we hurt people, we feel their pain too. We can’t hurt them without hurting ourselves… Why the phuck is that? I’ve no idea… While our hearts are screaming for help, we tell the only people who can help us to go burn in deepest pits of hell. And it is for this exact reason, empathy rears its ugly head. We hurt people badly because we (think we) knew EXACTLY how much it hurts. The situation actually becomes worse when that person don’t feel it (probably because they are already ‘numb’ to it)… Then again who is to define what is meant to be sad or what is not, wholly depends on each individual, and individuals tend to be biased towards their own opinion and their own perspective, even myself. Those who become the victims of me are the people closest to me no doubt, I stabbed myself in order to stab them (metaphorically speaking) and thereby made everybody sad…

Sometimes, empathetic people are the people who know exactly what makes people happy and what makes people sad. Thus, it usually takes 10 times the amount of things (ok, maybe it’s exaggerated) that make one happy to make the melancholic one to be happy just because they’re buried with the burden of disbelief of true happiness… But they want to believe in it, they are the very people who want it the most… They will kill for it, cry for it… just because they want to believe in it.

Yeah, I’ve never been happy with movies with happy endings, most of them at least… But can’t you guys feel it? The feeling of emptiness, void and… Something is just missing, it’s just… not real. Ignorance… will be the only reason people enjoy empty movies devoid of any meaning and connection with reality. Sometimes, I kinda like sad movies with sad endings, sadistic you might say. I feel the need for the main character to suffer, the feeling of hopelessness… Suffer as much as I did, then… we’ll talk about being connected emotionally to the movie. Ignorance is indeed a bliss.

It’s not that I can’t enjoy life really and had nothing happy to post, but it’s  just that I’ve kept it all inside… Sometimes I’m afraid of being called a show-off of showing the good things around me… Maybe it’s the fear of rejection and the feeling of being envied upon. Then again, who is to say it is not the other way round? That I’m actually envious of other people? I mean I’m really genuinely happy with you guys, truth from the heart. And yes, I probably always view my cup as half empty…

Haha, it’s not all that sad really as I say. And as I realised myself there’s no shortcut to understanding each other… for people to understand me. It takes time and misunderstanding… Guess we better off learn how to avoid misunderstanding than strive too hard to achieve mutual understanding. The opposite of love is not hatred, it is indifference… where they don’t  give a shit about how you feel and already f**king behind your back (not literally saying, but they are getting there). Truth: The one who hates you so much would most likely forgive you regardless of what you did, the one who don’t forgive you is the one who’s cool with everything (they don’t even know it existed cause they were so busily attached (read: f**king around, oops) ).

In the end… The essence is rather to enjoy through the pain, to be able to share sadness is a kind of happiness, too much of it results in unnecessary burden which might bog down everyone involved. Everything has to have a balance I guess, I’ve learn it the hard way… There’s no short cut. This blog exist as that short cut, but instead created misunderstandings and exposed the very weakness in me, you can say it that way. But the least I can promise is I’ll post something happy next time. The weight is going to be lifted, there is more than what meets the eye. Ciao.

…Circumstances has force this old piece of work out from the draft section…

The forgettable post…

An avalanche has already block our path, can’t you feel the frost and scathe?

It does not matter what I said, all that I can offer is just my jacket.

Together with Boutonniere, there’s no need for fear…  even if the departure is tomorrow.

But why is there an indescribable tinkling of sorrow?

Why of all days it had to be today?

Forgive me as some matters my lips are sealed, some wounds are meant to be healed.

Why is there is so much pain… That drives so many people insane?
With all the broken promises, it’s time to burn them into ashes…

There’s always a price to pay, if forever and ever were the words I said.

Sometimes, I feel like I only had a pair of hands…

It’s hard to hold together and embrace what I had and what I want,

To understand of value of something, I have to accept its loss
Drifting along this maze, my view is blocked by the haze…

Sorry, I can’t write any further…

Journal Date 13th July 2009

Somehow, I ought to be wrapping up my interim report as well as finishing the extended abstract for the paper that’s gonna be published for the first time under my name… But I just can’t focus… I’ve been switching on and off lately that I’m just too confused.

It’s almost 12am and I’ve yet to start my work but then again… it’s done in some ways or another. Really, it’s kind of a bore doing most of the things alone without anyone consistent. I guess it’s part of life I’ve to get use to. Oh well, at least I managed to repair the car battery by  myself recently. Sometimes I wonder… I’m actually really naive in so many ways and why it took me so long to figure out… Always riding the moral high horse and most of the time delusional when holding my principles. Back then, everything to me was just… Black and White, right or wrong… decisions were easy to make cause I tend not to see the shades of gray in between. Nowadays, I try not to make decisions nor judgments anymore cause everything seems to be blurring.

I’ve really arrive at this crossroad… So many paths, where it leads to, if only I can tell… Phd, I don’t know anymore… But it’s right there and I still refuse to grab it… I really have no interest in studying anymore, and I don’t have the pedigree to compete against real Phd students. If there’s a reason I stay, that reason it’s just plain stupid and pretty ridiculous really. Sigh, it’s really not worth it… I keep telling myself, but there’s always hope… Sometimes, I do think that everything I did right now  is for all the wrong reasons. But wrong reasons it were before, I always got the job done. Isn’t that all that matters?

Apart from Phd, there’s always business in a wider sense… It’s really the “path not taken”, it promises everything but that includes oblivion beyond redemption as well… Sigh. I really don’t need to start from step one like all other people who had already made their move. Sometimes their efforts made me laugh but at least they were trying. The stakes are higher in my case. So confusing, I can’t set my mind straight…

There had been so much dey~ja~vu lately, I’m really thinking too much. Chatting in my room till 7am in the morning… Singing songs together till our throats hurt while teasing each other, listening to my stories and her stories, walking under the moonlight… I should stop kidding myself as the reason I stay would be her… Maybe she don’t realise how much she reminded me about my past and I should really leave Semenyih now and not make the same mistake again. Sigh, naivity, unapologetic, lazy, hyperactivity,  demand for spontanious action and utter disregard for other people’s feeling attitude is just… reminds me of too many things that it’s just plain stupid… FYI, she’s just so lazy to read anything, she won’t be discovering this blog anytime soon (and that applies to both of  ‘them’)

This is stupid. I should stay away as far as possible. I should really head elsewhere for my own sake… I’m really thinking too much…

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Maybe somewhere else…
I think I’ll start a new life,
I think I’ll start it over, where no one knows my name,
I think I should get out of Semenyih,
I’m tired of the weather,
I think I’ll get a lover and fly her out to space…
I think I’ll go back to Ipoh
I think that I’m just tired
Maybe I need a new town, to leave this all behind…
I think I need a sunrise, I’m tired of the sunset,
I hear it’s nice in the summer, some snow would be nice…

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(Edited from the song ‘Boston’)

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Well, I was just thinking… Decision’s yet to made… Till graduation I guess… But everything is all set up already…

Shit lar, snap out of this already!

Keep on trying…

Is there love for me tonight?
When I’m dreaming of a better life,
In this world divided by fear…
I’ve got to believe that
There’s a reason I’m here.

All around me are familiar faces,
Worn out places, worn out faces…
Bright and early for their daily races,
just going nowhere, going nowhere…
And their tears are filling up their glasses
There’s just no expression, no expression…

Are these days worth living?
These are the years I’m given
And these are the moments
I see the truth, all around
My faith can be broken
My hands can be bound
If only I can open my heart
And fill up the emptiness…

Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
Nothing to look forward tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I won’t wake up
Are the best I’ve ever had
I find it hard to tell you
Because I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
in this really, really Mad Mad World

And even if hope was shattered
I know it wouldn’t matter
Cause these moments are temporary
There will come a time of reality
where the worst tend to bring the best out of me
That I can make this the best part of my life…

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The Hollywood Dilemma…

How time flies…

Again. Haha, don’t really know what to post cause it’s been a while since I posted… Or maybe it’s just that there’s so many things I want to write but it’s just that I don’t know which to write first and it’s a huge mixed-up… Oh well

First up, movies oh movies… So many of them… But I can’t seem to enjoy most of them anymore these days really because for all their special effects and explosions, they lacked substance and empathy… There I go again, begging to be surprised… Because most of them fell into the Hollywood “stereotype” movies (especially all those “blockbusters”) which all feature:

First Dilemma: Heroes are always “Lucky”

This is really a major turn-off really… The “it~so~happens” scenario always apply. It so happens that he’s actually rich, he got superpowers, he inherited some talent from daddy, he throw a spanar at 100 metres and hit the turbine of the flying seeker robot rather than anywhere else, he dodged the bullet because he slipped,  bullets and blades always hits his shoulder, his whole team dies but he survived and refused to die and so on and so forth…

Terminator Salvation:

I can throw spanner very “chun” one, give me a spanner… I bet I can beat you even if you hold a shotgun, really…

No amount of words can describe how Lucky is Shia…

Second Dilemma: Monsters “loves” Heroes

Haven’t you guys notice? Everytime there’s a monster in the movies, what do monters do when they caught with up the heroes? Well, they scream at them, smell them, maybe lick them, or in most cases… Fall clumsily or maybe hit something accidentally, got distracted by something and freaking refuse to reduce the “heroes” to mince meat… Why oh why and how I wish heroes just die for a change! Talking about surprise me…

Star Trek: Oh please, bite him already!!

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Aliens: Mmmm… Smells nice….

Third Dilemma: Over emphasized on self-importance

Well, this one is hard to noticed… How many people has to die for the hero to achieve his dreams? Everyone and everything can be sacrificed, everyone is a side-kick and will be supportive and will die for you… This mentality is ever pervalent… If you don’t think there’s a problem with this, well you’ve really got issues mentally…

No one can keep the cube safe except me, seriously…

Forth Dilemma: Heroes always get the girls (or guys for heroines)

Haha, you and I know this rarely happens in life… Let’s further divide into sub-categories:

1. All heroes always arrive just on time        2. All heroes are handsome and all heroines are sexy

3. And they live happily ever after…(Disney Style)

Batman: Always arrive in time

Minor Dilemma: Heroes “love” to be choked

If you watch all the blockbuster movies again, you will notice that there’s at least one choking scene… See if you can count them, the heroes always manage to get themselves choked by the villain (big or small) and every single time, either take something out their pocket or from the villains’ and manage to save their own asses… When the enemies could have just crush their puny heads (Terminator Salvation), tear them limb by limb, just f**kin shoot them (Star Trek 2009) or maybe just throw them off the ledge (Star Trek as well) and do nothin, but but… Villains just have to choke them… Oh please…

Drag Me to Hell: Choke me baby, one more time

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Before you scream, “just enjoy the movies man!”… Well, let me just give my 5 cents on your “Heroes”…

Fact (1):

People should know most heroes in life aren’t born lucky. They neither inherit any special talents nor huge fortunes, really… When you’ve got everything readily available for you, you gain nothing and learn nothin really… The truth is every single real Hero had to go through  some form of “baptism of fire”, and he fell down more than any other man, did more wrongs than any other man, go through the worst darkness and come back alive and thereby inch his way towards more than just a man… Nobody gets it right at the first time, that’s why we fall in life… So that we learn to pick ourselves up again (Batman). We don’t just become the hero in “it~so~happens” situation, we already live like one at the first place… Luck never comes into play, we did it right because we failed the other 9 times, got battered for another 9 times. I don’t know about you, but that’s how I did it…

Batman: Alfred asked “why do we fall?”

Fact (2):

Monsters… Well, we don’t really have monsters in real life but what we do have is… people who behaves like them. We are often surrounded by them, unlike in the movies, they are often stronger, smarter and much richer than you and most of the time, they often don’t have any weakness… but the truth is not everybody is wholly a monster, most of them are a leg in the monster realm and another in the human realm… Really, all that we can do is outlast the monster, preservere for the values we hold true. Well, the monsters can’t eat you if you don’t come out hoping to kill it… The best thing is monsters don’t last…

Muppets… They just come and go…

Fact (3):

Most often in life, we want to be play the main character in life… Really, who didn’t. No one wants to be the sidekick… All of us wants to be the prince who kiss Snow-White. What happens to the dwarves who let her stayed in their house and killed the witch as well? Well, they will cheer the prince on to kiss the bride! You see, this is where the problem starts, girls grew up with these stories… Snow white got her 7 dwarves, Cinderella got her rats and birds, Belle got her teapot and cupboard, Princess Aurora got her fairies… It’s ok for girls to “use” (sorry, I’ve no other words) all the guys around her to get to her prince and forgot to tell the dwarves that they were “dwarves” aka friends only… So, we’re in these sorry state of affair because we have all the girls thinkin they are princess and guys thinkin they are princes… I think this is worst in Asia, haha… Guys, either you’re happy being a dwarve or just stop doing stupid things. Girls, have pity on the guys… and realise that nothing comes free from guys in life and make it clear.

Snow White and her “Dwarves”

Rather the Beast than the Side-kicks

Fact (4):

Heroes always arrive in time to save the girl… Really, there’s no such thing in life. Only a consistent one, the one who really makes the effort to get there and make time for the girl. But there’s a lot of emphasize for “timing” for girls nowadays… because the guy appear at the correct time of her life -> when she was lonely and having a really hard time… No wonder girls always fall for the wrong guy just because he appear at the correct time, sorry it doesn’t just “happen” in life. It really takes tonnes of time and effort from the guys (your bf) to be consistently there and thus made him invisible because it’s a norm for you…

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Ok, slap face… Ouch, enjoy the movies already jin~

Sorry for spoiling all your Hollywood fantasy, you won’t ever watch Hollywood under the same light again…

Rant Rant Rant!

Melancholic… Yeah, that’s the word to describe me… My view of the reality of the world sometimes bogged me down…  People call it pessimism.

It’s like a blink of an eye, there goes half a year. It was just like yesterday when I was just preparing to enroll into higher education as I look at the application forms inside my desk… Hahaha, I’ve no idea why am I keeping it just in case I needed it… When the very next thing to do is PhD, I’m not ready for all this… I’m just dead tired.

Looking back at the undergraduates just made me feel so old. I’m not that young anymore suddenly…

PC games are not cool anymore… Facebook is cool, “in” thing, where every Ah Chee Ah Kow tried as hard as they can to make their otherwise boring life interesting (that includes me even though I tried not to… Pengsan~)

Can’t pinch my guy fren’s boobs anymore without looking ridiculous… Sorry Sheng for pinching your er~ in front of the Mc D guy…

Most prank jokes can’t be reuse anymore… It’s not funny anymore…

Suddenly our hip songs already become “Classics”… OH MY GOD… It’s called oldies.

Classics? NOOOO….

Suddenly, meetings with best old friends from all corners around the world after their graduation seemed like. ..It’s like meeting a group of strangers. There was just nothing to say other than… How are you?

Suddenly, all your girl friends becomes attractive, smart and capable. All of them have grown up now and I’m still like this kid who refuse to grow up… Hahaha, too bad.

Suddenly, all your values of becoming this chivalric knight becomes obsolete… Being nice and giving became being naive and weak. Sometimes it’s just tough being the good guy, doing 9 rights and 1 wrong means your nature is actually bad while… Doing 9 wrongs and 1 right means your nature is actually good. Don’t know how badly did movies affect us but this is just plain madness… If there are people who kill all the good guys, it’s the ladies themselves. Sad isn’t it?

Suddenly, love just passed me by, me and my-ex broke up. No reasons given, no questions asked. I was just too busy Suddenly, she has this new boy friend (not so sudden for me though) who makes you wanna puke.  Time is cruel, unforgiving and has indeed punished me for not taking it seriously.

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what’s within
And I’ve been there before
But that life’s a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don’t want nothing at all

Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing

Some people search for a fountain
The promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that’s the only way to prove you love them
I was handed the world on a silver platter
And what good would it be
no one to share
With no one who truly cares for me?

Love is like a drug. You can’t get enough of it. You have to keep on increasing its dosage but it’s never enough. But when you lost it, you’re no different than a drug addict… You cried and you whailed but it is to no avail, and you know it and I know it. But to think of it, you were just fine without it when you never try it. How you’ve become what you become? All her dreams become your dreams, when she left, she left with her dreams and aspirations. And all that is left of you is but an empty person, without dreams, without hope. Your pride, ambition and everything around the world doesn’t seem to matter at all. So much to write, so little space…

Guess I just took too much dosage of LOVE and feeling the side effects without it… Stupid drugs. And I thought I was better than this, but I’m just like all other love sick puppies, just worst. For all those who’s in love now, don’t laugh… Good luck, you’ll need it… LOL

Something, someone, somewhere…

Feels like this world has too little space

So I spent all the time in one day…

Feels like this world tend to waste a lot time

So I spent the whole day re-evaluating all the values I hold

Opportunities and occasions passing by so fast, slipping away between my fingers.

So I spent the whole day, thinking it must be love…

Everyone is searching for love through battles and competitions

Everyone thinks that it will be love that save us.
But how can that be? Look at what love has gave us.
A world full of fighting, backstabbing and hate,
Peace of mind never came as said.

There’s not much love left in this world,

Slowly writing something new…

Feels so lazy I just wanna lie on my bed all day,

reflecting on all the months and years I exchange for all the hate, love and fun…

So many hardships and full of surprises… Something, someone, somewhere… So beautiful…

Maybe another destination, another place